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77 replies

Is the UK ready.....

rickrickMember
quote:
Originally posted by Bartelby:
Other body parts seem to have increased in size too.
It’s time to expose this “size doesn’t matter” myth. Just try telling your wife, when the two of you are shopping away, that you’ve exceeded your credit card limit and you can’t make it any bigger. Then you’ll find out that “bigger is better”. Sure, she may tell you it’s not important. Perhaps she’ll put things on layaway and fake satisfaction with your puny and wimpy limit. But, behind your back, she’ll seek satisfaction elsewhere. She might find out what your best friend’s limit is. Or, and I know this is really disgusting, she could even go to your father for help and fulfillment. Also, if you ever do have a large limit, and later on, your limit is reduced (called, “can’t get your limit up” or “fiscaltile dysfunction”), she’ll be the first to dump you, or at least be critical. And once a gal becomes critical, then a guy becomes more apprehensive, which means there will follow further restrictions on his limit. This dysfunction can occur at most any age, but seems to be more of an issue with older men who have limited resources and must budget their accomplishments. There are various organizations available that counsel men that are experiencing diminishing limits, and some suggest cutting the overdrawn instrument in two and throwing it away – an extreme alternative. Of course, all of this is based on how much the woman’s shopping bag can hold.



Words of advice – marry a gal with a small shopping bag, or very low expectations.
rickrickMember
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Employees despair about the input of school leavers!
“School leavers”? I thought that was typo, but I did some searching on Internet. “School leavers” sounds so much better than “dropouts”. A “dropout” is someone that can’t cut it, but a “school leaver” is someone that has more important appointments. “No, I’m not a dropout – I’m a school leaver.”



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Occasionally, Mr Bliar [sic] and his cronies wake up from a long sleep and acknowledge that we need to overhaul the curriculum and go back to the 'three Rs' but then they all fall asleep again.
Poor Tony. I can’t remember anyone on this forum saying anything good about the guy. How does he stay in office? 8 years seems like a fair amount of time to determine if he’s qualified. Hell, Churchill only lasted 5 years (the first go around).

I came across an item that stated that Anthony Blair adopted his nickname to keep up with the last two liberal U.S. Presidents (Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton). As I was never introduced to Johnny Major or Maggie Thatcher, perhaps there’s some truth to it. And looking at the list of Primes since 1721, I can’t find a single Jimmy, Harry, Clem, Ramy, Dukey, Lordy, or Early listed in the Labour Party.
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Rick:
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Employees despair about the input of school leavers!
“School leavers”? I thought that was typo, but I did some searching on Internet. “School leavers” sounds so much better than “dropouts”. A “dropout” is someone that can’t cut it, but a “school leaver” is someone that has more important appointments. “No, I’m not a dropout – I’m a school leaver.”
Here, school leavers means everyone who has just left school.


quote:
Poor Tony. I can’t remember anyone on this forum saying anything good about the guy. How does he stay in office?

Because the opposition are not much better, and there are those who believe in the manifesto.
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Smart:
Oh dear!
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
.....without the grammar, punctuation or spelling.....
.....if the seller cannot read the name of something they are looking at, there may be less bids.

Fewer bids, less money!
quote:
The theory was that all these things are not important.....

.....were not important.....
quote:
Employees despair about the input of school leavers!

Employers?
You asked for it! (Just a bit of funWink)

No problem, Smart - it was a bit early in the morning and my caffeine stream had too much blood in it! Big Grin
I expect to proof-read any document submitted by a third party, and often read mine days or weeks later.
Wonder what your edit was? Wink
rickrickMember
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Here, school leavers means everyone who has just left school.
Oh, I see. Over here they are referred to as adults or graduates. Sometimes they are referred to as unemployed.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Wonder what your edit was? Wink
Nice try, Mike, but all Smart did was to add “Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:”.



quote:
Originally posted by Smart:
You asked for it! (Just a bit of funWink)
Damn! They sure are obvious after someone points them out.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Because the opposition are not much better
That pretty much sums up my feelings about U.S. politics.
rickrickMember
Smart,

I wish I could say I was smart, but that would be identity theft.

If you click “Go” (top of page), then “My Space”, then “Notifications”, you’ll see that you can turn on immediate notifications for “All Forums”. Then, everything that is posted is emailed to you. If you don’t mind the volume of email, then you know what was originally posted.

You might be surprised by what people post in the heat of the moment and later edit/delete. But, most of the changes are for clarification, like what you did, or typo corrections.


P.S. You have 15 minutes before that little This message has been edited text gets added.
rickrickMember
Talking about strange: A few days ago I saw a young (subjective) couple (male/female – male driver, of course) in a somewhat small car (bucket seats). They were each talking on separate cell phones. For all I know they were talking to each other. Maybe they were married. Maybe he was proposing (for safety reasons he wasn’t kneeling – seat belt wouldn’t extend that far) (engagement ring stashed in the ashtray?). Maybe he was asking her out. Maybe he was asking someone else out. Maybe she was calling a divorce lawyer. Maybe she was on the phone with her gynecol and just found out she was pregnant but had to wait until he (driver) finished his (driver) call to tell him (driver), unless he (driver) had call waiting (assuming he (driver) would interrupt his call for her (passenger/squeeze)), and then he (driver) could get on his knees and propose, or put the car on cruise control and jump out the window (freedom) with his (driver) cell phone and then block all calls from her (ex-passenger/ex-squeeze).

Somewhat awkward when the other person in a conversation answers a call. More awkward if they don’t check caller-ID. Most awkward if the other person in a conversation makes a call.
cameracameraMember
quote:
Originally posted by Smart:
Rick, how is it you always know what the edits were?


I once went to this old couple's bungalow. Nothing untoward was in view. A contract was signed and my engineers moved in to install a security system.

They came back that night saying - we just can't do the wiring - you should see the loft!

In it they had kept every newspaper and magazine they had ever read. In fact, the engineers were frightened of going up into it again in case it collapsed!

I draw this anology, because Rick's computer must be in a similar state! Unless, perish the thought, he prints out every post to this board (for reference of course!) and stores them in his loft!

Paul
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Rick:
quote:
Originally posted by Camera:
Unless, perish the thought, he prints out every post to this board (for reference of course!) and stores them in his loft!
Paul, you of all people should know me by now. I'm aloft type of a person. It does leave a loft to be desired.

Our loft is the 'wine cellar' and box and bubble wrap department, for ...... well - you know where I am going there. Big Grin
A few bits of clocks and radios awaiting restoration, as well.
cameracameraMember
Rick, there's a famous Yorkshire saying - 'there's nowt as queer as folk'. Perhaps it should be amended to read:

"there's nowt as queer as Yorkshire folk"

Celler in the loft indeed - nodding his head sagely!

Other possible Yorkshire "isms" to ponder on:

Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eight all, sup all, pay nowt and if tha ever does owt for nowt allus do it for thi sen

As 'appy as a pig in’t’trough

Wer's thus muck thus brass

Pop thi clogs

Wha arta bletherin abaht?

Paul

P.S. This is the old and correct use of the word "queer" which predates by a century or two its modern usage. It just means "peculiar"
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Rick:
A wine cellar – a man after my own heart! Don’t you have problems with heat? Are you a collector?

A cellar in the attic – I’ll never learn proper English.

Hi Rick
I am not really a collector - it is just that because of the ridiculous duty on wine in the UK, I tend to fill the car en route back from Europe whenever I can.
Average price of a decent Corbieres or Shiraz in supermarkets here - £5
In France or Belgium, €1 (£0.68).

The loft can get a bit warm in summer, but I don't think the wine has suffered.
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Camera:
Rick, there's a famous Yorkshire saying - 'there's nowt as queer as folk'. Perhaps it should be amended to read:

"there's nowt as queer as Yorkshire folk"

Cellar in the loft indeed - nodding his head sagely!

That is not a Yorkshire custom, Paul, it is simply the fact that we don't have a cellar, but have a loft that covers four rooms!
BTW, I am only a proxy (note the 'r' Wink) Yorkshireman - I hail from Somerset.
quote:

Other possible Yorkshire "isms" to ponder on:

Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eight all, sup all, pay nowt and if tha ever does owt for nowt allus do it for thi sen

As 'appy as a pig in’t’trough

Wer's thus muck thus brass

Pop thi clogs

Wha arta bletherin abaht?

Paul

P.S. This is the old and correct use of the word "queer" which predates by a century or two its modern usage. It just means "peculiar"

Even that one has been hijacked by gay now. Eek
It took me a while to understand some of the Yorkshire dialects, and I get baffled still.
Apparently the signs on level crossings without barriers that had notices 'Stop while lights are flashing' caused accidents because 'while' means 'until' on some parts! Frown

The word 'since' used as 'ago' still catches me out - someone says 'I did this a week since' and I am waiting for 'since what?' and realise that is it!

It is only one of the richly varied dialects all over the country, though.

I used to work in the south of Lancashire - near Wigan, famed for its pier.
I asked someone for directions, and got: "Tha goos ter lawn yed and goos left at t'robots. Tha's geet reet wishut! Tha's bin agate today?"
Translation: "You go to Lane Head and turn left at the lights. You look a bit wet! Were you busy today?"
rickrickMember
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
I asked someone for directions, and got: "Tha goos ter lawn yed and goos left at t'robots. Tha's geet reet wishut! Tha's bin agate today?"
If that’s the answer you got from asking directions, just how did you phrase the question, or are they bilingual there? They must have there own interpreters in the United Nations, otherwise how would they declare war, or if they did, how would anyone know?

Don’t think I’d want to receive heart surgery training in Yorkshire. Don’t think I’d want anyone that received heart surgery training in Yorkshire within several miles of my heart.

Remind me never to get lost in Yorkshire, and if I do get lost, remind me to plan to stay there a very long time. If I ever do go there, how would I know if I pissed someone off, or is the middle finger a universal symbol for hatred?

I think I prefer thumbing my nose (I think that’s another universal symbol) at some one. The middle finger really gets people going (and it certainly feels good to do), but thumbing one's nose at someone is almost friendly, or clown like. Now, Churchill used his middle finger a lot, but he used his forefinger at the same time, which made ALL the difference in the world war. But I suspect when the topic of Hitler came up, Churchill left his index finger touching his palm.


Remember: I may be wandering, but I’m not lost.
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Rick:
If that’s the answer you got from asking directions, just how did you phrase the question, or are they bilingual there?

Something like Can you tell me where xxxx street is, please? Rather prosaic, I know!
quote:

Don’t think I’d want to receive heart surgery training in Yorkshire. Don’t think I’d want anyone that received heart surgery training in Yorkshire within several miles of my heart.

That was in Lancashire, Rick - separated from us by the Pennines, and the Wars of the Roses. Big Grin
And of course the amazing M62. Highest motorway in England
quote:

Remind me never to get lost in Yorkshire, and if I do get lost, remind me to plan to stay there a very long time. If I ever do go there, how would I know if I pissed someone off, or is the middle finger a universal symbol for hatred?

They (and I) would probably think you were pointing to Lancashire. Wink
Only if you add the fore finger as well at an angle of 30 degrees, I think!
rickrickMember
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
That was in Lancashire . . .
Yorkshire – Lancashire, to an American you Shires all look alike.

Found the Yorkshire Dales and Peak District National Parks in the atlas, but the only “Lakes” is in Barbados. I found a Lake District National Park, but that’s too far away from you. I also see there’s a North, South, and West Yorkshire, but the other quadrant is called East Riding of Yorkshire. Is there a story there, or did some poor horseman get lost and couldn’t understand the directions he got from someone visiting from Lancashire?

I did spend a little time in Manchester (weeks versus months or years – it was well after the U.S. occupation of England), which looks close to you. I remember driving up to Scotland, but have no idea what motorway I used (at the time my hands were full trying to stay on the right (left) side of the road and contemplating the metaphysical meaning of round-abouts).

I didn’t realize “The War of the Roses” was in your neighborhood. The big problem with English history is that there’s too much of it - much shorter course in the States. But, being global newbies, we are trying very hard to make up for lost time.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Not a bad idea, but house prices are going up!
Hey, if you’ve got cellars in the attics, it’s only natural that everything should be raising (IMNotSoHO).
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Rick:

Found the Yorkshire Dales and Peak District National Parks in the atlas, but the only “Lakes” is in Barbados. I found a Lake District National Park, but that’s too far away from you.
It was the Lake District, Rick - colloquially 'Lakes'. Not too far, and easy motorway access.
quote:

I also see there’s a North, South, and West Yorkshire, but the other quadrant is called East Riding of Yorkshire. Is there a story there, or did some poor horseman get lost and couldn’t understand the directions he got from someone visiting from Lancashire?

Originally they were West, North and East Ridings, but one county. Riding, IIRC, is a mediaeval term based on how far you could ride around the boundary in a day.
When England rearranged the counties in the 1970s, North, West and South Yorkshires became autonomous counties, and Cleveland and North Humberside were created from the old bit of Yorkshire.
There was an outcry in the 1980s or 90s, so North Humberside went back to its original name of East Riding.
quote:

I did spend a little time in Manchester (weeks versus months or years – it was well after the U.S. occupation of England), which looks close to you.

35 miles away or so - across the Pennines, but maybe not in winter!
quote:

I remember driving up to Scotland, but have no idea what motorway I used (at the time my hands were full trying to stay on the right (left) side of the road and contemplating the metaphysical meaning of round-abouts).

M62+M61+M6 probably, then A74 (or if more recent, M74) probably.
I only realised recently that there were no roundabouts in USA. Or are there some?
I find that there is not really a problem driving on the right in Europe - everyone else is doing it!
quote:

I didn’t realize “The Wars of the Roses” was in your neighborhood. The big problem with English history is that there’s too much of it - much shorter course in the States. But, being global newbies, we are trying very hard to make up for lost time.

We also have the pub just down the road where the Luddites arranged their meetings, and where Patrick Bronte (he of daughters Anne, Emily and Charlotte fame) lived 1/2 mile away and worked at a nearby church - this being the highest one in the county - as a vicar.
rickrickMember
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
There was an outcry in the 1980s or 90s, so North Humberside went back to its original name of East Riding.
I can understand that – I’d much rather be an East Ridingian than a North Humbersideian.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
M62+M61+M6 probably, then A74 (or if more recent, M74) probably.
15 or so years ago. Not sure if that’s considered recent in England – probably not.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
I only realised recently that there were no roundabouts in USA. Or are there some?
I’ve only seen a few, but then I’m not a road-touring person. I suspect the ones over here are more for show than for practically. The only one that comes to mind is in Vail, but I think that’s more to give the tourist a feeling of Alpine skiing.

It looked like we were going to get a medium-sized one. The city had a billboard at the intersection with a diagram of the roundabout. But, the natives, fearing carnage, repealed the idea. Instead, there’s the typical square intersection with left/right turn lanes and left turn arrows. Say, what happens to the pedestrians in roundabouts, or is it “survival of the fittest”?

Don’t understand why they aren’t popular in the States. It’s not like our first street designers weren’t somewhat influenced by England. The starting and stopping at traffic lights must be a grand waste of fuel, and hard on breaks, transmissions, and fenders from cross traffic accidents. Maybe we have a proclivity to right angles.

I could be way off on this, but I think roundabouts are something one has to be raised with, and not something one can easily adapt to. I believe, that if any terrorists were determined to inflict large-scale casualties to the U.S. civilian population, their best bet would to install roundabouts. Grant it, it would be a long term assault, but effective.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
We also have the pub just down the road where the Luddites . . .
Are there no bars or nightclubs in England – just pubs?

I had to look up Luddites. Sounds like they thought the Industrial Revolution was the Industrial Riot.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
. . .and worked at a nearby church - this being the highest one in the county - as a vicar.
Is that in altitude, authority, or hallucinogens? I assume you’re discussing the building and not the
vicar, or the parishioners.
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
quote:
M62+M61+M6 probably, then A74 (or if more recent, M74) probably.
15 or so years ago. Not sure if that’s considered recent in England – probably not.

Subjective, I suppose - at that time the A74 (dual carriageway) was becoming the M74 (motorway)



quote:
It looked like we were going to get a medium-sized one. The city had a billboard at the intersection with a diagram of the roundabout. But, the natives, fearing carnage, repealed the idea. Instead, there’s the typical square intersection with left/right turn lanes and left turn arrows. Say, what happens to the pedestrians in roundabouts, or is it “survival of the fittest”?

A lot of the main intersections in/near towns and cities have pedestrian underpasses, others have traffic lights (pelican crossings) near roundabouts.
The roundabout to end all roundabouts!
BTW, priority is to traffic already on the roundabout, with the occasional exception clearly marked. Some busy ones have a slip road that bypasses the next exit.
quote:

quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
We also have the pub just down the road where the Luddites . . .
Are there no bars or nightclubs in England – just pubs?

We have both. Bars and clubs are mainly in cities, and places to avoid. You can have the privilege of paying to go in and drinking beer, wine and spirits with a big markup on price, and having your eardrums assaulted with some cacophonous racket.
Me - I like actually talking to people over a drink, so it is pubs.
quote:

quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
. . .and worked at a nearby church - this being the highest one in the county - as a vicar.
Is that in altitude, authority, or hallucinogens? I assume you’re discussing the building and not the
vicar, or the parishioners.

About 900ft above sea level!
rickrickMember
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
The roundabout to end all roundabouts!
A TEE-SHIRT FOR A ROUNDABOUT? I won’t say I’ve seen everything, but that’s one less thing for me to see. The roundabout looks like a nightmare. That would be the ideal place to send any Americans that you don’t want to leave the country (that may be a contradiction) – just give them a car and point it in the direction of Magic Roundabout. It sounds like a Disney ride. Regarding the last picture in the link you provided – is that a poorly designed parking lot or are those cars actually moving? That roundabout might also be a good place to execute Americans convicted of a capital offense. Good idea to give them a very cheap car (no need to waste money), or perhaps a scooter would be better – more humane that way – less needless suffering.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
You can have the privilege of paying to go in and drinking beer, wine and spirits with a big markup on price, and having your eardrums assaulted with some cacophonous racket.
Yes. I suspect with the popularity, and volume, of rap music that the when the current kids become adults that the stock in companies that provide hearing aids will soar.



quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
About 900ft above sea level!
Was your use of feet to be accommodating to a metric illiterate?
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Rick:
A TEE-SHIRT FOR A ROUNDABOUT? I won’t say I’ve seen everything, but that’s one less thing for me to see.

Here's another! Don't look at the Teasmaniacs link on the home page..........

quote:

Regarding the last picture in the link you provided – is that a poorly designed parking lot or are those cars actually moving?

They are moving, Rick. Just. Eek
quote:

Yes. I suspect with the popularity, and volume, of rap music that the when the current kids become adults that the stock in companies that provide hearing aids will soar.

It is amazing how a misplaced 'c' has changed things. Wink
The audio volume of this rubbish would be banned in a factory by the Health and Safety nannies here.
There will indeed be a generation of the prematurely deaf - it is becoming noticeable now.

quote:

quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
About 900ft above sea level!
Was your use of feet to be accommodating to a metric illiterate?

Nope - we use the Imperial system for such things here - it is Europe that is solely metric. We use metric, say 50% of the time, for weights and small measures.
Distances and heights are almost solely miles and yards.
rickrickMember
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Don't look at the Teasmaniacs link on the home page..........
Thanks for the warning.

quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
It is amazing how a misplaced 'c' has changed things. Wink
The audio volume of this rubbish would be banned in a factory by the Health and Safety nannies here.
There will indeed be a generation of the prematurely deaf - it is becoming noticeable now.
Boy, do we sound like a couple of old farts or what? What kind of music did you listen to when you were a kid, Mike? Don’t tell me it was The Beatles, or did they come from the wrong side of the shire? The Stones? Jimi Hendrix? Were you a hippie (driving a Citroen, of course, instead of a VW bus)?
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Rick:
quote:
Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
It is amazing how a misplaced 'c' has changed things. Wink
The audio volume of this rubbish would be banned in a factory by the Health and Safety nannies here.
There will indeed be a generation of the prematurely deaf - it is becoming noticeable now.
Boy, do we sound like a couple of old farts or what? What kind of music did you listen to when you were a kid, Mike? Don’t tell me it was The Beatles, or did they come from the wrong side of the shire? The Stones? Jimi Hendrix? Were you a hippie (driving a Citroen, of course, instead of a VW bus)?

None of these, Rick!
I must have a gene or two missing that makes people enjoy whatever pop music thay enjoyed when they were teenagers. Cannot get my head around it - most of the music I liked then is no different from what I like now! Tends to vary from 1750 to 2005, but pop-free.
It does get (incorrectly) called 'Classical' but this is from a particular period only.

'Serious' is another epithet; this gives the wrong idea. The serious bit means that it is music that has been composed properly, not scribbled in the nearest envelope.
A serious piece, say the last bit of Beethoven's 9th, is very lively and jolly - more so than the dreary and monotonous thumps of some of the efforts now, interspersed with some foul-mouthed yob babbling incomprehensible (c)rap. Live music? Anything but! As live as a cemetery.
Sorry, not a hippy, either! As for Citroens, that is a need that originated from researching my requirements.

In the 60s I drove an Austin Seven Cool
The Beatles seemed to be (mainly McCartney) reasonably good composers, I can actually listen to them without switching off after five seconds!
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Rick:
Mike,

Must have been tough as a kid doing the Frug, the Bump, the Monkey and the Hustle to Wagner.

It probably was, Rick, but I don't think that I had even heard of them until I read this - (they sound like a company of dodgy solicitors!), and I have never been a fan of owld Dick Wagner.
quote:

Any bellbottom pants in your past?

IIRC, I think there must have been, but I tend not to give too much precedence to recording such events. Wink
M mikefromwestyorkshireMember
quote:
Originally posted by Bartelby:
I had to read that a couple of times before I *got it* R2, I must do a crappy Yorkshire accent. Confused

There are quite a few different ones, Lexie, but the t' = the is from the Western side, and the same in the Eastern side of Lancashire.

Sheffielders sound more like Nottingham and North Yorks sound a bit like Geordies. Hull and Leeds are very distinctive and unmistakable as well. 'Four' and 'Pour' sound like 'far' and 'par'.

No-one can figure mine out as I was born in Somerset, but lived in Lancashire and West Yorks. I have been asked if I was Australian! Big Grin
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