LMAO alternatives (more descriptive)

http://www.netlingo.com/smiley.cfm

Inspirational site. Sure are some clever people out there. I guess I won’t be quitting my day job.

>> click here 1 <<

>> click here 2 <<

>> click here 3 <<

>> click here 4 <<

Falcon, that site reminds me of when I took ancient Hebrew in college! Very similar!

Be nice to your ass and it will be nice to you.

An ass is a terrible thing to waste.

An ass in nine saves time.

Never look a gift ass in the ... well, just don’t look there.

One rides their ass by sitting on their ass.

How many laughs does it take to actually laugh an ass off? Does girth or healthy regenerative powers have any influence? Once the ass has been offed, can an ass transplant be performed and will Medicare cover it and are there any long-term side effects? Is the ass included when one authorizes organ donations on their driver’s license? Finally, where do these asses go when they are laughed-off?

quote:

Finally, where do these asses go when they are laughed-off?

Hmmm. Now, that's a good question; maybe BMT can fund a study.

George Carlin (I’m not giving this bit of his the amount of detail it’s due) made the observation that certain words can’t be obscene if they are also the name we use for animals. If you can’t come up with your own list, then rent either “George Carlin: Personal Favorites, 1990” or “George Carlin: George’s Best Stuff, 1996”. I can’t remember which DVD it’s on, but both are worth the time (some overlap).

In the UK an Ass is another word for a donkey and a bum is what you sit upon. The 'R' in Arse allows one to add some agression when used in a sentence: "You complete and utter arse!" - the US version just sounds like a small snake...

R2

Now, there happens to be some people that were taught not to covet thy neighbor’s ass, or thy neighbor’s wife’s ass (apparently ranked in sequence of importance), which may have caused them some confusion.

How did a part of the human anatomy come to be called the same name as this animal (applies to the U.S. inmates – those in the U.K. know the difference between “an” ass and “their” arse, and its difference to a hole in the ground), and why do people want to laugh it off (unless for olfactory reasons)?

This brings up a question – does “arse” get a spell checker hit in the U.K. as it does in the U.S., or is there an auxiliary list of words that is automatically installed on British computers, and does that list include colour, honour, and GROUND FLOOR? (I’d asked R2 about “butt” but I fear he would say that’s what goats do)

quote:

Originally posted by Rick:
and does that list include colour, honour, and GROUND FLOOR? (I’d asked R2 about “butt” but I fear he would say that’s what goats do)[/i]

True, Rick, it is what goats do; it is also what we have in our gardens to collect rainwater in (water butt).
We won't even mention the license/licence pair depending whether a verb or a noun (apparently not in US, though)
I think that discreet/discrete, effect/affect, principle/principal and diverse/divers are muddled up equally on both sides of the big ditch, though.

Mike, my little hand-held Franklin Language Master shows license or licence as a noun, and license as a verb, but Microsoft Word gets a spell check on licence, but not on Microsoft – go figure.

Here are some more confusables (not sure if it applies to both side of the ocean) from my hand-held (don’t mean that as an indication of my morning activities):
accept/except; allusion/illusion/delusion; already/all ready; altogether/all together; among/between; amount/number; astrology/astronomy; bail/bale; bare/bear; beside/besides; ceremonial/ceremonious; civic/civil; compare/contrast; contemptible/contemptuous; continual/continuous; credible/creditable/credulous; defective/deficient; definite/definitive; desert/desert/dessert; disinterested/uninterested; economic/economical; efficacious/efficient; famous/infamous; fatal/fateful; figuratively/literally; flaunt/flout; foregoing/forgoing; formally/formerly; fortuitous/fortunate; imperial/imperious; imply/infer; industrial/industrious; judicial/judicious; less/fewer; like/as; luxuriant/luxurious; momentary/momentous; moral/moral/morale

Whew! I think I’ll stop at M.

Slow morning?

quote:

Originally posted by Dave:
Slow morning?

& evening.

Remaining confusables from my hand-held:
negligent/negligible/neglected; notable/noticeable; official/officious; precipitate/precipitous; recourse/resource; respectable/respectful; review/revue; sensible/sensitive; sociable/social; temporal/temporary;

Try this one on for size:

artesian/artisan

ass
slang for "backside," first attested 1860 in nautical slang, in popular use from 1930; from Amer.Eng. pronunciation of arse (q.v.). The loss of -r- before -s- attested in several other words (e.g. burst/bust, curse/cuss, horse/hoss, barse/bass). Indirect evidence of the change from arse to ass can be traced to 1785 (in euphemistic avoidance of ass "donkey" by polite speakers) and perhaps to Shakespeare, if Nick Bottom transformed into a donkey in "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (1594) is the word-play some think it is. Meaning "woman regarded as a sexual object" is from 1942. ***hole first attested 1935.

bore/boar

I was in Atlanta a year ago and was shown a dictionary (American) that stated that apostrophes were acceptable in plurals such as CDs. But then lots of people there thought I was Australian. And kept saying 'excuse me' when I spoke. And, when I went into shops, they kept asking how I was then looking perturbed when I told them...

Rick, how does 'butt out of a conversation' come about? And is a 'butt plug' some sort of advertising term? It's all a mystery to me...

R2

quote:

Rick, how does 'butt out of a conversation' come about?

Now that you mention it, that does sound like a contridiction.

quote:

And is a 'butt plug' some sort of advertising term?

Not heard that one. “Butthead”, but not the plug.

quote:

Originally posted by Rick:
... does “arse” get a spell checker hit in the U.K. as it does in the U.S., or is there an auxiliary list of words that is automatically installed on British computers...

Rick, guess what, we even have pound signs on our keyboards (shift 3)...
MSWord allows us to choose our language and default to English (UK) or English (US) - I go for the former!

R2

Thanks to Google, I now know what a (they don’t appear to be packaged by the pair or greater) “butt plug” is. Since I had never encountered one before, I was therefore pleased that I was unfamiliar with the term. You’d think that a phrase that gets 351,000 Google hits would be something that would have bumped into me.



Just came across this (new?) Google search:
http://www.google.com/webhp?complete=1&hl=en

quote:

And, when I went into shops, they kept asking how I was then looking perturbed when I told them

I have long suspected this was unique to the States. I like the, “I was just diagnosed with terminal cancer” response (once again, George Carlin has a bit on this). Even the, “Do you want the short answer, or the long answer?” reply will cause them to do a deer-staring-at-oncoming-lights; assuming they are actually listening (you can sometimes hear the mental gears grinding).

Another great custom in the States (I assume/hope that it hasn’t spread) is the waiter telling you their name and joining into the conversation (probably originated in California). I can’t begin to describe all the wisdom and insight I’ve gained from 20-year-olds that needed my tip to make a decent living.



I was surprised to learn that U.K. keyboards have a pound sign; I thought U.K. was metric.



It’s moments like the following that make it all worthwhile:
>> I concur - LMAO <<

And two more moments:
>> <<

Things I ponder regarding the arse

• how would you ride a bike if you didnt have a butt crack?
  
  
• Would bike seats look different?
  
  
• Is your arse too big or too small if your hipster jeans dont stay up?
  

Did I miss much?

quote:

Did I miss much?

This continued to be very popular:
>> here <<


This had some potential:
>> here <<


This made the goat happy:
>> here <<


This gave us all a frightful scare (my heart’s still racing):
>> here <<


This was insightful:
>> here <<

So it seems that the Northern Hemisphere has a fascination with Goats...which would be the equivalent to the Southern Hemisphere's supposed fascination with sheep?

[checks for appropiate ' usage, the anal punctuation expert is everywhere]

Goats? In Wales? Q. What do you call 3 sheep tied to a lamp post in Cardiff? A. A leisure Centre!

R2

Baaahhhhh.

quote:

Originally posted by Dave:
Baaahhhhh.

I love it when you talk dirty.

Some LMAO anagrams:
LOMA
MALO
OLMA
AMLO


A LOL anagram:
LOL

Alternative meanings for LMAO:

Let’s Make Another Omelet
Liposuction Moves Around Obesity
Large Movements Are Offensive
Love Me Always, OK
Likable Matrons Are Oxymoronic
Liquor Manipulates All Organs
Lactating Mothers Are Organic
Lampooning Men Ain’t Offered

Alternative meanings for LOL:

Loud Ornery Lady
Lots Of Luck
Lot On Lake
Large On Love
Lawbreaker Or Lawmaker

A 'nice' young lady just responded to a witty email with:

PMSL

I'll let Rick work that one out for you!

R2

WOW! That’s a tough one. The “L” must be laughing (maybe loud). Can’t figure out the “PMS”. Don’t tell me – I’ll work it out.

the MS should, in reality, be just M, IMHO...

R2

That eliminates this line of thinking:
[Old thinking]

Listen, I'm completely new to this forum, so forgive me if I'm no way up to speed, but I'd like to offer impertinent congratulations to the following:
Rick - Sniper Deity 4 this: I like the, “I was just diagnosed with terminal cancer” response
Bartelby - Sniper Hall Of Fame 4 this: Things I ponder regarding the arse...
Dave - Super Sniper 4 this: "Eagles may soar, but weasles do not get sucked into jet engines."
and region2 - Snipeaholic 4 this: The Times My Snipes Are Placed Is Not Even Close To What I Put Up.

All great fun. I was gutted the last named topic was closed, because I'm 6ft 4 ins AND an "English Master" (well, teacher) and I wanted to pitch in with the fight against the deluded.
Anyway, back to work...

Leyland,

You’ve done a respectable job of capturing the essence of the forum, and I’m somewhat partial to your first example. It’s a fairly diverse group here, so you’re bound to make someone chuckle.

About the closed topic – stick around. There’s always another one waiting to happen. Monday AMs (Yankee time) are particularly fruitful.

Hey Leylandi, thanks for the praise but no English master worth his salt is going to use '4' for 'for'...

Can anyone help Rick to decipher PMSL as he appears to have given up!?!

R2

East Fife 5 : Forfar 4
You wouldn't believe me if I told you I was using 4 just 2 see if anyone bit...

PS PMSL - does it involve hilarious urination?