LMAO alternatives (more descriptive)

http://www.netlingo.com/smiley.cfm

Inspirational site. Sure are some clever people out there. I guess I won’t be quitting my day job.

>> click here 1 <<

>> click here 2 <<

>> click here 3 <<

>> click here 4 <<

Falcon, that site reminds me of when I took ancient Hebrew in college! Very similar!

Be nice to your ass and it will be nice to you.

An ass is a terrible thing to waste.

An ass in nine saves time.

Never look a gift ass in the ... well, just don’t look there.

One rides their ass by sitting on their ass.

How many laughs does it take to actually laugh an ass off? Does girth or healthy regenerative powers have any influence? Once the ass has been offed, can an ass transplant be performed and will Medicare cover it and are there any long-term side effects? Is the ass included when one authorizes organ donations on their driver’s license? Finally, where do these asses go when they are laughed-off?

quote:

Finally, where do these asses go when they are laughed-off?

Hmmm. Now, that's a good question; maybe BMT can fund a study.

George Carlin (I’m not giving this bit of his the amount of detail it’s due) made the observation that certain words can’t be obscene if they are also the name we use for animals. If you can’t come up with your own list, then rent either “George Carlin: Personal Favorites, 1990” or “George Carlin: George’s Best Stuff, 1996”. I can’t remember which DVD it’s on, but both are worth the time (some overlap).

In the UK an Ass is another word for a donkey and a bum is what you sit upon. The 'R' in Arse allows one to add some agression when used in a sentence: "You complete and utter arse!" - the US version just sounds like a small snake...

R2

Now, there happens to be some people that were taught not to covet thy neighbor’s ass, or thy neighbor’s wife’s ass (apparently ranked in sequence of importance), which may have caused them some confusion.

How did a part of the human anatomy come to be called the same name as this animal (applies to the U.S. inmates – those in the U.K. know the difference between “an” ass and “their” arse, and its difference to a hole in the ground), and why do people want to laugh it off (unless for olfactory reasons)?

This brings up a question – does “arse” get a spell checker hit in the U.K. as it does in the U.S., or is there an auxiliary list of words that is automatically installed on British computers, and does that list include colour, honour, and GROUND FLOOR? (I’d asked R2 about “butt” but I fear he would say that’s what goats do)

quote:

Originally posted by Rick:
and does that list include colour, honour, and GROUND FLOOR? (I’d asked R2 about “butt” but I fear he would say that’s what goats do)[/i]

True, Rick, it is what goats do; it is also what we have in our gardens to collect rainwater in (water butt).
We won't even mention the license/licence pair depending whether a verb or a noun (apparently not in US, though)
I think that discreet/discrete, effect/affect, principle/principal and diverse/divers are muddled up equally on both sides of the big ditch, though.

Mike, my little hand-held Franklin Language Master shows license or licence as a noun, and license as a verb, but Microsoft Word gets a spell check on licence, but not on Microsoft – go figure.

Here are some more confusables (not sure if it applies to both side of the ocean) from my hand-held (don’t mean that as an indication of my morning activities):
accept/except; allusion/illusion/delusion; already/all ready; altogether/all together; among/between; amount/number; astrology/astronomy; bail/bale; bare/bear; beside/besides; ceremonial/ceremonious; civic/civil; compare/contrast; contemptible/contemptuous; continual/continuous; credible/creditable/credulous; defective/deficient; definite/definitive; desert/desert/dessert; disinterested/uninterested; economic/economical; efficacious/efficient; famous/infamous; fatal/fateful; figuratively/literally; flaunt/flout; foregoing/forgoing; formally/formerly; fortuitous/fortunate; imperial/imperious; imply/infer; industrial/industrious; judicial/judicious; less/fewer; like/as; luxuriant/luxurious; momentary/momentous; moral/moral/morale

Whew! I think I’ll stop at M.

Slow morning?

quote:

Originally posted by Dave:
Slow morning?

& evening.

Remaining confusables from my hand-held:
negligent/negligible/neglected; notable/noticeable; official/officious; precipitate/precipitous; recourse/resource; respectable/respectful; review/revue; sensible/sensitive; sociable/social; temporal/temporary;

Try this one on for size:

artesian/artisan

ass
slang for "backside," first attested 1860 in nautical slang, in popular use from 1930; from Amer.Eng. pronunciation of arse (q.v.). The loss of -r- before -s- attested in several other words (e.g. burst/bust, curse/cuss, horse/hoss, barse/bass). Indirect evidence of the change from arse to ass can be traced to 1785 (in euphemistic avoidance of ass "donkey" by polite speakers) and perhaps to Shakespeare, if Nick Bottom transformed into a donkey in "A Midsummer Night's Dream" (1594) is the word-play some think it is. Meaning "woman regarded as a sexual object" is from 1942. ***hole first attested 1935.

bore/boar

I was in Atlanta a year ago and was shown a dictionary (American) that stated that apostrophes were acceptable in plurals such as CDs. But then lots of people there thought I was Australian. And kept saying 'excuse me' when I spoke. And, when I went into shops, they kept asking how I was then looking perturbed when I told them...

Rick, how does 'butt out of a conversation' come about? And is a 'butt plug' some sort of advertising term? It's all a mystery to me...

R2

quote:

Rick, how does 'butt out of a conversation' come about?

Now that you mention it, that does sound like a contridiction.

quote:

And is a 'butt plug' some sort of advertising term?

Not heard that one. “Butthead”, but not the plug.