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OK! Here is an opportunity for thought and creativity. Jeff Foxworthy (USA commedian) made a living by finishing the phrase, "You MIGHT be a REDNECK if...". For example, "You MIGHT be a REDNECK if the richest member of your family invites everyone over to help take the wheels off their new home!"

What clever/funny, but true finishes can we come up for "You MIGHT be an EBAY ADDICT if...."?

Possibilities:
...you've ever bid in the NUDE!
...you think "eating out" means eating anywhere but in front of the computer.
...you receive new packages before you've had a chance to open the last ones you got.
...you've set aside an area/closet/room/building for your ebay items!

Anyone care to share any ideas?
Jabbergah  
Last edited {1}
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Interesting entries...
quote:
...you remember your password.
Maybe...you've entered your ebay password as a PIN into the ATM machine.
quote:

… you get more email from favorite searches than friends.
Maybe better? ...you get more e-mail from eBay than friends.
quote:
… you have more favorite searches than friends
Rather tragic, actually, nevertheless quite probably true for many!
...you find a box on your porch and run to the computer to leave feedback, then when you don't see it listed you realize you didn't buy it on eBay.

...your computer's home page is eBay's home page.

...you attend a regular auction and shout out your maximum bid instead of the next increment.

...your dog no longer bothers to bark at the UPS man.

Traffic lights??? Do you think I could find a fire hydrant for the dog??? (leaving the forum to check eBay)
quote:
raffic lights?!? Eek Really? Do they work? What do you do with them? Are there collectors of such things?


Well, none of them are hooked up yet, although I do have a couple of controllers. Hmmmm, what does any collector do with their collection? Actually, my record collection does get listened to; quite frequently, I might add.

quote:
Traffic lights??? Do you think I could find a fire hydrant for the dog??? (leaving the forum to check eBay)


I seriously suspect that you will find fire hydrants on ebay; if not right now, just wait a while. Sorry, I had to go check that one out for myself. Big Grin No, I am NOT going to bid on it; I don't have a dog.

>>Here's the first one<<
You think foreplay requires nibbling.

You think being a high bidder is a euphoric state.

You include your feedback score in your will.

You demand joint custody of your ebay ID.

You feel that being out bided is a justified reason for divorce.

You think making funeral arrangements includes bidding on a used coffin.

You require broadband access after waking from open-heart surgery.

After removing your laptop from a burning house, you return to save your children.

When you say, “Laptops, women and children first”.

You think cheating is when your spouse finds out your high bid.
Thanks Dave, but the cross-country shipping on that one might be a little expensive. Those things are heavy. The dog's birthday isn't until July, and that's probably the only thing he doesn't have. Razz

It's yellow so they probably wouldn't mistake it for a fire hydrant that's hooked up. The ones that are hooked up are green so they'll show up easily against the red sand.
You think visiting ebay would be a pilgrimage.

If ebay sends you a get well card – signed.

You think a meaningful relationship is when you get combined shipping.

You rent a UPS truck for the prom.

Your laptop is the last thing to be packed and the first to be unpacked when going on vacation.

You go thru withdrawal (contemplate suicide) if you don’t have auctions on your items watching.

You take up new hobbies to justify bidding.

When you think up symptoms of addictions and post them on a sniping forum.
This one's clever!
quote:
...your dog no longer bothers to bark at the UPS man.
...maybe generalize it to "delivery man." Along the same line:
...you see the delivery man more than your spouse.
quote:
You include your feedback score in your will.
Maybe better? = ...you bequeath your eBay ID in your will.
quote:
You think foreplay requires nibbling.
Doesn't it? And what does that have to do with eBay? Confused

More possibilities:

...when your family informs you they're out of clean clothes, you do an eBay search.

...you've set an alarm clock to check on an auction.
quote:
Thanks Dave, but the cross-country shipping on that one might be a little expensive. Those things are heavy.


Just a quick comment. What you see on the sidewalk is just "the tip of the iceberg". There is a lot more of it underground; up to ten feet (or more) depending on how deep the water lines are. Hey, its 0500, I can't sleep' and I just got my DSL working (with Firefox). Big Grin Sorry.
quote:
Just out of curiosity (inquiring minds and all that bit), will the lucky winner end up seeing their punch line on a tee shirt?


Possibility! Some of my best ideas I have stol...er, shall we say, appropriated!

Don't think we've come up with any homeruns, but maybe some solid doubles. Might end up in a "top 10" list with the #1 being "...you understood or laughed at all of the preceeding nine!"
Last edited by jabbergah
You change your ebay ID and experience dual personalities.

Your ebay ID is hacked and you have an identity crises.

You follow ebay’s password advice when naming your children.

You start a lasting relationship with a spammer.

You use ebay to ask your spouse questions.

You use ebay’s Contact Info service to remember your address.

You know who Joon-Soo Kim is.

You could recognize Joon-Soo Kim.

You have a picture of yourself in your About Me.

You have a picture of someone else in your About Me.

You have a picture of your children in your About Me.

You have a picture of someone else’s children in your About Me.

You have a picture of someone else’s dog in your About Me.

You have ebay Radio as a selection on your car radio.

You receive ebay Alerts on your cell phone while driving.

You’re going for a doctorate from ebay University.

You’re a Yank and bid on Ozzie Auctions.

You’re a Yank and know what GMT means.

You have a favorite person at ebay’s customer support.

Instead of a prenuptial, the two of you have a T.O.S.

You have your clocks set to PST.
quote:
You have ebay Radio as a selection on your car radio.

You receive ebay Alerts on your cell phone while driving.

You’re going for a doctorate from ebay University.
Is there really such things? Ebay radio, university, alerts to cell phone? Confused Guess I'm not an addict after all!
quote:
You have your clocks set to PST.
Perhaps "You have at least one clock set to 'ebay time.'"

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