Is the UK ready.....

quote:

Originally posted by Bartelby:
Other body parts seem to have increased in size too.

It’s time to expose this “size doesn’t matter” myth. Just try telling your wife, when the two of you are shopping away, that you’ve exceeded your credit card limit and you can’t make it any bigger. Then you’ll find out that “bigger is better”. Sure, she may tell you it’s not important. Perhaps she’ll put things on layaway and fake satisfaction with your puny and wimpy limit. But, behind your back, she’ll seek satisfaction elsewhere. She might find out what your best friend’s limit is. Or, and I know this is really disgusting, she could even go to your father for help and fulfillment. Also, if you ever do have a large limit, and later on, your limit is reduced (called, “can’t get your limit up” or “fiscaltile dysfunction”), she’ll be the first to dump you, or at least be critical. And once a gal becomes critical, then a guy becomes more apprehensive, which means there will follow further restrictions on his limit. This dysfunction can occur at most any age, but seems to be more of an issue with older men who have limited resources and must budget their accomplishments. There are various organizations available that counsel men that are experiencing diminishing limits, and some suggest cutting the overdrawn instrument in two and throwing it away – an extreme alternative. Of course, all of this is based on how much the woman’s shopping bag can hold.



Words of advice – marry a gal with a small shopping bag, or very low expectations.

quote:

Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Employees despair about the input of school leavers!

“School leavers”? I thought that was typo, but I did some searching on Internet. “School leavers” sounds so much better than “dropouts”. A “dropout” is someone that can’t cut it, but a “school leaver” is someone that has more important appointments. “No, I’m not a dropout – I’m a school leaver.”

quote:

Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Occasionally, Mr Bliar [sic] and his cronies wake up from a long sleep and acknowledge that we need to overhaul the curriculum and go back to the 'three Rs' but then they all fall asleep again.

Poor Tony. I can’t remember anyone on this forum saying anything good about the guy. How does he stay in office? 8 years seems like a fair amount of time to determine if he’s qualified. Hell, Churchill only lasted 5 years (the first go around).

I came across an item that stated that Anthony Blair adopted his nickname to keep up with the last two liberal U.S. Presidents (Jimmy Carter and Bill Clinton). As I was never introduced to Johnny Major or Maggie Thatcher, perhaps there’s some truth to it. And looking at the list of Primes since 1721, I can’t find a single Jimmy, Harry, Clem, Ramy, Dukey, Lordy, or Early listed in the Labour Party.

quote:

Originally posted by Rick:

quote:

Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Employees despair about the input of school leavers!

“School leavers”? I thought that was typo, but I did some searching on Internet. “School leavers” sounds so much better than “dropouts”. A “dropout” is someone that can’t cut it, but a “school leaver” is someone that has more important appointments. “No, I’m not a dropout – I’m a school leaver.”

Here, school leavers means everyone who has just left school.

quote:

Poor Tony. I can’t remember anyone on this forum saying anything good about the guy. How does he stay in office?

Because the opposition are not much better, and there are those who believe in the manifesto.

quote:

Originally posted by Smart:
Oh dear!

quote:

Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
.....without the grammar, punctuation or spelling.....
.....if the seller cannot read the name of something they are looking at, there may be less bids.

Fewer bids, less money!

quote:

The theory was that all these things are not important.....

.....were not important.....

quote:

Employees despair about the input of school leavers!

Employers?
You asked for it! (Just a bit of fun)

No problem, Smart - it was a bit early in the morning and my caffeine stream had too much blood in it!
I expect to proof-read any document submitted by a third party, and often read mine days or weeks later.
Wonder what your edit was?

quote:

Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Here, school leavers means everyone who has just left school.

Oh, I see. Over here they are referred to as adults or graduates. Sometimes they are referred to as unemployed.

quote:

Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Wonder what your edit was?

Nice try, Mike, but all Smart did was to add “Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:”.

quote:

Originally posted by Smart:
You asked for it! (Just a bit of fun)

Damn! They sure are obvious after someone points them out.

quote:

Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
Because the opposition are not much better

That pretty much sums up my feelings about U.S. politics.

Smart,

I wish I could say I was smart, but that would be identity theft.

If you click “Go” (top of page), then “My Space”, then “Notifications”, you’ll see that you can turn on immediate notifications for “All Forums”. Then, everything that is posted is emailed to you. If you don’t mind the volume of email, then you know what was originally posted.

You might be surprised by what people post in the heat of the moment and later edit/delete. But, most of the changes are for clarification, like what you did, or typo corrections.


P.S. You have 15 minutes before that little This message has been edited text gets added.

Aww, And I thought you sat there 24/7 cuz you were so interested/bored with the forum! ...Soooo, lets see, a person could send you a really nasty post , delete it before anyone else saw it, AND you would still get it!

Talking about strange: A few days ago I saw a young (subjective) couple (male/female – male driver, of course) in a somewhat small car (bucket seats). They were each talking on separate cell phones. For all I know they were talking to each other. Maybe they were married. Maybe he was proposing (for safety reasons he wasn’t kneeling – seat belt wouldn’t extend that far) (engagement ring stashed in the ashtray?). Maybe he was asking her out. Maybe he was asking someone else out. Maybe she was calling a divorce lawyer. Maybe she was on the phone with her gynecol and just found out she was pregnant but had to wait until he (driver) finished his (driver) call to tell him (driver), unless he (driver) had call waiting (assuming he (driver) would interrupt his call for her (passenger/squeeze)), and then he (driver) could get on his knees and propose, or put the car on cruise control and jump out the window (freedom) with his (driver) cell phone and then block all calls from her (ex-passenger/ex-squeeze).

Somewhat awkward when the other person in a conversation answers a call. More awkward if they don’t check caller-ID. Most awkward if the other person in a conversation makes a call.

I like my post better..but your post was a clever diversion.

“Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink.” – Lady Astor

“Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.” – Winston Churchill

What a lady! What a man!

quote:

Originally posted by Smart:
Rick, how is it you always know what the edits were?

I once went to this old couple's bungalow. Nothing untoward was in view. A contract was signed and my engineers moved in to install a security system.

They came back that night saying - we just can't do the wiring - you should see the loft!

In it they had kept every newspaper and magazine they had ever read. In fact, the engineers were frightened of going up into it again in case it collapsed!

I draw this anology, because Rick's computer must be in a similar state! Unless, perish the thought, he prints out every post to this board (for reference of course!) and stores them in his loft!

Paul

quote:

Originally posted by Camera:
Unless, perish the thought, he prints out every post to this board (for reference of course!) and stores them in his loft!

Paul, you of all people should know me by now. I'm aloft type of a person. It does leave a loft to be desired.

quote:

Originally posted by Rick:

quote:

Originally posted by Camera:
Unless, perish the thought, he prints out every post to this board (for reference of course!) and stores them in his loft!

Paul, you of all people should know me by now. I'm aloft type of a person. It does leave a loft to be desired.

Our loft is the 'wine cellar' and box and bubble wrap department, for ...... well - you know where I am going there.
A few bits of clocks and radios awaiting restoration, as well.

A wine cellar – a man after my own heart! Don’t you have problems with heat? Are you a collector?

A cellar in the attic – I’ll never learn proper English.

Rick, there's a famous Yorkshire saying - 'there's nowt as queer as folk'. Perhaps it should be amended to read:

"there's nowt as queer as Yorkshire folk"

Celler in the loft indeed - nodding his head sagely!

Other possible Yorkshire "isms" to ponder on:

Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eight all, sup all, pay nowt and if tha ever does owt for nowt allus do it for thi sen

As 'appy as a pig in’t’trough

Wer's thus muck thus brass

Pop thi clogs

Wha arta bletherin abaht?

Paul

P.S. This is the old and correct use of the word "queer" which predates by a century or two its modern usage. It just means "peculiar"

quote:

P.S. This is the old and correct use of the word "queer" which predates by a century or two its modern usage. It just means "peculiar"

The power of a word, or a phrase.

Still amazes me how a thread starts out, and the direction it can take - sorry (not really), looks like I'm starting to wander.

quote:

Originally posted by Rick:
A wine cellar – a man after my own heart! Don’t you have problems with heat? Are you a collector?

A cellar in the attic – I’ll never learn proper English.

Hi Rick
I am not really a collector - it is just that because of the ridiculous duty on wine in the UK, I tend to fill the car en route back from Europe whenever I can.
Average price of a decent Corbieres or Shiraz in supermarkets here - £5
In France or Belgium, €1 (£0.68).

The loft can get a bit warm in summer, but I don't think the wine has suffered.

quote:

Originally posted by Camera:
Rick, there's a famous Yorkshire saying - 'there's nowt as queer as folk'. Perhaps it should be amended to read:

"there's nowt as queer as Yorkshire folk"

Cellar in the loft indeed - nodding his head sagely!

That is not a Yorkshire custom, Paul, it is simply the fact that we don't have a cellar, but have a loft that covers four rooms!
BTW, I am only a proxy (note the 'r' ) Yorkshireman - I hail from Somerset.

quote:

Other possible Yorkshire "isms" to ponder on:

Hear all, see all, say nowt. Eight all, sup all, pay nowt and if tha ever does owt for nowt allus do it for thi sen

As 'appy as a pig in’t’trough

Wer's thus muck thus brass

Pop thi clogs

Wha arta bletherin abaht?

Paul

P.S. This is the old and correct use of the word "queer" which predates by a century or two its modern usage. It just means "peculiar"

Even that one has been hijacked by gay now.
It took me a while to understand some of the Yorkshire dialects, and I get baffled still.
Apparently the signs on level crossings without barriers that had notices 'Stop while lights are flashing' caused accidents because 'while' means 'until' on some parts!

The word 'since' used as 'ago' still catches me out - someone says 'I did this a week since' and I am waiting for 'since what?' and realise that is it!

It is only one of the richly varied dialects all over the country, though.

I used to work in the south of Lancashire - near Wigan, famed for its pier.
I asked someone for directions, and got: "Tha goos ter lawn yed and goos left at t'robots. Tha's geet reet wishut! Tha's bin agate today?"
Translation: "You go to Lane Head and turn left at the lights. You look a bit wet! Were you busy today?"

quote:

Originally posted by Mike from West Yorkshire:
I asked someone for directions, and got: "Tha goos ter lawn yed and goos left at t'robots. Tha's geet reet wishut! Tha's bin agate today?"

If that’s the answer you got from asking directions, just how did you phrase the question, or are they bilingual there? They must have there own interpreters in the United Nations, otherwise how would they declare war, or if they did, how would anyone know?

Don’t think I’d want to receive heart surgery training in Yorkshire. Don’t think I’d want anyone that received heart surgery training in Yorkshire within several miles of my heart.

Remind me never to get lost in Yorkshire, and if I do get lost, remind me to plan to stay there a very long time. If I ever do go there, how would I know if I pissed someone off, or is the middle finger a universal symbol for hatred?

I think I prefer thumbing my nose (I think that’s another universal symbol) at some one. The middle finger really gets people going (and it certainly feels good to do), but thumbing one's nose at someone is almost friendly, or clown like. Now, Churchill used his middle finger a lot, but he used his forefinger at the same time, which made ALL the difference in the world war. But I suspect when the topic of Hitler came up, Churchill left his index finger touching his palm.


Remember: I may be wandering, but I’m not lost.