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I am winning bidder but seller won't sell, figure
shipping or reply - he is not paid yet - obvious
to me because the winning bid was low. I have held off giving a bad evaluation as he'll do the
same in return. Should I list it with Square Deal or forget it. I can live without the item but hate to see the seller do this.. I've e-mailed 4 times but he won't reply. I Don't sell - Only buy - so what do you sellers
recomend ? He has a perfect score and so do I = so why get into a hissing game?
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Mory,

I think in most situations it's a mistake to try to force someone to do something in any kind of a relationship or transaction. I understand the seller has a legal obligation to complete the transaction, but I'm also a practical person. I don't "avoid" crusades, but I pick the ones that have a good chance of winning, and are worth the winning. If it's something minor, or easy to get somewhere else, I'll walk away. I'd rather do something enjoyable then spend my, and some ebay employee's, time beating up on some recalcitrant seller (something I wished I learned earlier in my ebay experience).

There are times when something small should be contested because if not it will establish a precedent that will encourage others in this kind of behavior. But since no other seller will know the outcome of this, and since you'll probably never buy from this seller ... well, it's your call.


P.S. This has come up before on this forum, and it seems like they all turn out for the best. Usually the seller had some emergency.
A buyer or seller's feedback weighs a lot on my decision whether I take action against them or give them more time. I had a buyer with 80-something % feedback (4 negs. within a feedback of 26) and when payment didn't arrive and my emails went unanswered I didn't hesitate to leave a neg. Turns out someone else left a neg. the day after I did, same situation. But if someone had 100% feedback I'd be more cautious and give them the benefit of the doubt. Continue emailing them or let it go, especially if it's a small item. Or if anything, leave a neutral saying the seller never contacted you. They may come around a month from now and try to work it out with you. JMO
Here's some additional thoughts regarding this topic - that dealing with anxiety. Maybe others have found themselves in the situation where they aren't concerned about "getting their pound of flesh" (eye for an eye), but just wanting to know if this is going to be a go or no-go. "I'm out here and I just want someone to tell me things are OK - OK?" "I don't mind walking away, just tell me its OK to walk away - OK?" Ebay can be very uncertain - no personal exchange; no eye contact; no body language; is this person my neighbor or someone from Mars? Added to all that is - WHAT DO THEY THINK OF SNIPERS?

In the past, my anxiety has stemmed from uncertainty - "Seller, just tell me to go away and I will". About the only good thing in leaving a neg is that I have closure (once they've retaliated). But, at least I can get on with my life, or at least not stress over what to do about this seller.

If the problem is just happening to me, I feel more anxious. If it's something that's happening to everyone, then I don't feel so bad. For some reason, when ever the power goes out, I always feel better knowing that it's not just happening to me but that my neighbors are down as well. Misery loves company?

If this happens to anyone else, here's some ideas to see if the seller is ignoring just you (seller has a problem with you) or everyone (seller has a problem with everyone). There's a couple of things you can check on to help determine if the seller is accessing their computer, thus accessing their email:
1) Have they left feedback for someone since you emailed them?
2) Have they listed new items since you emailed them?
3) Have they placed proxy bids (snipes can be automated) since you emailed them?
4) Has anyone left them feedback on items for auctions that closed since you emailed them?
I'm not a seller, so I can't be certain about 1 and 2.



"A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings unintentionally." - Oscar Wilde
Great post Rick. When I had non-paying bidders I did the research you suggested to determine if my buyers were ignoring my emails or appeared to be unavailable. When I found one of them to be bidding and winning 5 and 6 auctions a day after she told me she couldn't pay for mine, that caused her to get a big fat red negative in her feedback. She's the one who claimed it was her MIL doing the bidding. Doh Roll Eyes
Thank you one and all.....I have to sleep tonight so read all the posts 3 times and I am just going to let it go.....UNCHALLENGED.
I GUESS I figure why spoil my record for one item - or one bad apple..
Rick. you really have some clear thinking - You should Author a "Sniping for Dummies" book if these pages aren't copyrighted..
The tone of ALL the replies - very helpful to me today Thanks EVERYONE - mory

PS : just put "the file" in the shredder - it feels good....

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