At last! A logical explanation! Now why didn't I think of that??
<<The Truth>>
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This is spot on:
"Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally.
"One woman wept as she confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.' "
OK ladies - time to call in an exorcist.
"Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally.
"One woman wept as she confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.' "
OK ladies - time to call in an exorcist.
Hmm Falcon, I would rather guess the demon is in the one typing, not the computer! 
I dunno, Mrs. M. Remember how I had to replace my computer after trying to exorcise the spirit of Gary Null last week? 
(It kept redirecting to his web site.)
The people who write viruses and such things aren't exactly angelic.
And don't forget all the newbies who come in here to tell us how the software did strange things to them all on its own!
LOL!
(It kept redirecting to his web site.) The people who write viruses and such things aren't exactly angelic.
And don't forget all the newbies who come in here to tell us how the software did strange things to them all on its own!
LOL!
Good point - I'm typing!quote:Originally posted by Serenity:
Hmm Falcon, I would rather guess the demon is in the one typing, not the computer!
quote:And don't forget all the newbies who come in here to tell us how the software did strange things all on its own!
We now have a trilogy of mythical solutions to problems.
- Delete cookies
- Turn off Norton
- “Let us pray”
Q: How do you get holy water?
A: Boil the hell out of it.
quote:"Any PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit," the minister confirmed.
What I'd like to know is how much storage capacity a computer needs in order to house an evil spirit. Do different types of demons need different capacities? Is there some sort of mathematical formula for this?
quote:What I'd like to know is how much storage capacity a computer needs in order to house an evil spirit. Do different types of demons need different capacities? Is there some sort of mathematical formula for this?
Just goes to show you what kind of religious nuts are out there.
But, at least he has some practical advice:
Rev. Peasboro advises that if you suspect your computer is possessed, you consult a clergyman or, if the computer is still under warranty, take it in for servicing. He says, "Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently."
Since acts of nature aren’t usually covered under warranty contracts, I wonder why the Rev. Peasboro feels that acts of demon are.
quote:What I'd like to know is how much storage capacity a computer needs in order to house an evil spirit. Do different types of demons need different capacities? Is there some sort of mathematical formula for this?
Not much...they are compacted, I'm sure! Lol!
There’s no scientific evidence of the existence of a/the devil, but it sure in the hell is convenient having him/her/it around to blame everything on. "Lol!"
The devil made me posts this. It’s not my fault.
The devil made me posts this. It’s not my fault.
According to the following, there should be at least one demon amongst the forum regulars:
The minister estimates that one in 10 computers in America now houses some type of evil spirit.
Great time to start a poll.
"Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic websites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations.
See, it’s not my fault. Oops - I feel drawn irresistibly. I’ll be right back.
The minister estimates that one in 10 computers in America now houses some type of evil spirit.
Great time to start a poll.
"Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic websites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations.
See, it’s not my fault. Oops - I feel drawn irresistibly. I’ll be right back.
quote:The minister estimates that one in 10 computers in America now houses some type of evil spirit.
I know that this is true! My computer at work hates me, and has told me so many times:
"...program has performed an illegal operation and is shutting down. You will lose any unsaved data."
Just be careful when it says, “program has performed an immoral operation.”quote:Originally posted by Dave:
"...program has performed an illegal operation and is shutting down. You will lose any unsaved data."
Well Christine, I obviously enjoyed this topic.
quote:quote:
The minister estimates that one in 10 computers in America now houses some type of evil spirit.
OMG, Dave, I have three computers in the house!! LMAO! What are the odds that one is housing an evil spirit?
My guess is that 1 in 10 is a pretty low estimate. Either that, or I've run into an unusually high number of demon-infested computers. It would probably help if I could convince my boss to exorcise the operating system in the computers that use Microsoft Access 3.1. Windows XP might have a few less demons.
Maybe computers aren't the only machines that can house evil spirits. I'm starting to suspect an evil presence in the Falcon's cooling system.
Maybe computers aren't the only machines that can house evil spirits. I'm starting to suspect an evil presence in the Falcon's cooling system.
I know of some intersection lights that are possessed.
30%quote:Originally posted by Serenity:quote:quote:
The minister estimates that one in 10 computers in America now houses some type of evil spirit.
OMG, Dave, I have three computers in the house!! LMAO! What are the odds that one is housing an evil spirit?
quote:OMG, Dave, I have three computers in the house!! LMAO! What are the odds that one is housing an evil spirit?
Three machines? Well, then there must be at least two different evil spirits present.
"Demons are able to possess anything with a brain....."
The Reverend Jim is obviously safe then!
What poppycock! If my jolly computer had a "brain" I wouldn't have to sit here telling it what to bally well do!
Methinks the good reverend is artificailly (superficially?) intelligent.
Emo
The Reverend Jim is obviously safe then!
What poppycock! If my jolly computer had a "brain" I wouldn't have to sit here telling it what to bally well do!
Methinks the good reverend is artificailly (superficially?) intelligent.
Emo
Hi Emohawk! Nice to see you !! I totally agree! 
If there is an evil demon in computers it's probably called Microsoft (or Bill Gates), what?
By Gad, using similar logic to Reverend Jim one could suggest there is a clue in the phrase "Gates of Hell".
Emo
By Gad, using similar logic to Reverend Jim one could suggest there is a clue in the phrase "Gates of Hell".
Emo
LMAO!!!
"Being a Mac user is like being a Navy Seal: a small, elite group of people with access to the most sophisticated technology in the world, whom everyone calls on to get the really tough jobs done quickly and efficiently." - R. Welch, CEO, General Motors
Methinks the reverend's 2nd job is working on computers, replacing hard drives, etc.!quote:Methinks the good reverend is artificailly (superficially?) intelligent.
No, no, no, Jabber, old thing - that's his brother! Probably the one he connects to to send him the "mess of potato" insults.
"Even if you can make a computer sit up and beg - it can still make you bang your head against the desk!"
Emo
"Even if you can make a computer sit up and beg - it can still make you bang your head against the desk!"
Emo
Talking about “misfires”, you working on any fireworks displays this year, Jabber?
You might wanna check your CPU and see if it has this logo.
