GOOD QUESTIONS:
>> ok i want this but I'm actually bidding against myself << - No argument from me - I agree with both of the statements you made there.
>> The bid history makes me look like an idiot << - Well, no. Not an "idiot". An impassion buyer, yes. It's obvious you want it. One of the bummers when you proxy bid, is that both the seller and other buyers know that. The seller might use that to his advantage to shill (but less likely on a reserve). Any competitors will also know that. All in all - bad deal to proxy bid. (Actually, I wrote up some text about recovering proxy bidders if you would like to see it - but you have to promise me you have a sense of humor - which you look like you do).
>> Should I write to the seller asking what is his gosh darn price! << - You could - sometimes that works, but I think most of the time it doesn't. If the seller wanted you to know his reserve, he probably would have listed it. They would much rather you over bid the reserve, so that if another bidder comes in, one of you will pay more money.
>> Any suggestions! << - This is what I would do if it was me (since it's not, then it won't bug me if you do something else). The auction is 3 days away. STOP BIDDING!
Two things might happen: 1) Someone else will reach the reserve for you; 2) Others will think you've given up. Both of those are good things.
If you decide to stop bidding, determine the MAX you are will to pay for this and place that as a snipe. You can always come back and increase your snipe amount, but try to avoid getting caught up with other proxy bidders. Right now it's at $29.50. If you think your max is $34 - use that. If later you decide it's $37, change it. We've all done it (at least I have). If you decide that what you have already bid is your max - then no harm in walking away.
>> the only problem is that these issues have been up for bid a few times << - That's good to hear. It means they'll probably be auctioned again - and maybe cheaper.
P.S. It's only at 14 bids, but once it reaches 30, a little "Hot Items" icon gets attached.