Thanks for priming the pump and pointing out (maybe inadvertantly) that some statements are regionally or even nationally understood, but not internationally.
With that in mind, the revised list with hopefully international appeal & understanding:
"If you say the glass is half-empty, you're a pessimist."
"If you say the glass is half-full, you're an optimist."
"If you say the glass is the wrong size, you're a pragmatist."
"If you say, 'Somebody's been drinking out of my glass!', you're one of the 3 bears." (???This was a childrens story I heard in USA -- is this children's story told internationally???)
"If you say the glass needs an upgrade to fill it, your name is M$oft"
"If you say it is the wrong kind of glass, you work for the government."
"If you say the glass needs to be washed, you're obsessive-compulsive."
"If you say 'Er you gonna drink dat?', you're a redneck."
"If you say 'MINE!', you're a 2-year-old."
Anyone care to add to the list along the same vein?? "If you say_____, you're a _____."