I bought several sets of 'Ginsu' knives! They were $3 or $4 for each set ... couldn't resist I give them out as gag gifts when the mood hits me (they're pretty cheap)!
Re: Paper Jams - it's more of a intake wear or paper dust problem - but every place I've worked that uses HP's in an office environment has had the problem. Epson seems to do much better in a heavy use environment.
Mother Mary Says, 'HONESTLY! you're just ruint!'