The eBay feedback system is conceptually a good idea, but in practice does not work as well as it could. Why? Because everyone is afraid of retaliatory feedback. Either you leave positive or no feedback or you risk retaliation, justified or not. Since fear prevents posting a negative or neutral feedback when one is warranted, this is a system that does not work. My aggregate (from all of my eBay IDs) feedback number is only about 400. I also have one negative, left by a moron in retaliation for a neutral I left him because he knowingly improperly described a lot that I won. Yes, I returned it and got a partial refund (and a credit, as if I would ever buy anything from this jerk again), but he retaliated with a negative. Fortunately, this jerk’s negative feedback comment said more about him than me, but after a couple hundred more positives, the negatives are so far back in the list that nobody ever looks at them, they only look at the numbers.
The sellers, buyers, and eBay could work together to make this a better system, but it would take some effort. The feedback display should be presented by type of feedback: negative, neutral, and then positive. eBay can do that easily. Buyers and sellers should be more honest in their feedback; if you really feel like you’ve been taken to the cleaners, then post a negative. If the transaction left quite a bit to be desired, but came to an acceptable conclusion post a neutral or positive feedback. Otherwise post a positive. The thick skin part comes in when you need to expect a retaliatory feedback in kind. This is where eBay’s help will be valuable, it gives you a quick reference to negative feedback given the other party without having to page though countless pages of positives. When all negatives are grouped together, you can get an overall picture of the person with whom you are dealing. You will find that the negative feedback left often says more about the person leaving it than the person receiving it.
This is quite a digression from the original thread. I’ve had issues with S&H charges myself, but have always “bitten the bullet” when they are clearly stated in the description. When it’s part of the contract it’s pretty lame to complain; just don’t sign the contract in the first place. (That means don’t bid on it). It was ammusing that seller's response seemed to scream "I'm an unreasonable idiot".