Edward who works at a Wal-Mart:
One day an older gent asked him, “Where are Depends?” I took him over to the adult incontinence under-garments and then his face turned red with embarassment. “No,” he said, and took an ink pen out of his pocket. “I want da pens.”

Rick, you've forgotten you have an international audience (some of whom are too young to worry about incontinence)...

'Depends' - don't have them in the UK - I guess a rolled up copy of the Times will have to suffice!

'Wal-Mart' - don't have them in the UK either - ASDA is their equivalent here [I'll let you know which name I find quite ridiculous - Associated Dairies vs Wally Market...]

'Da' - obviously this word has no meaning in real English so the whole joke would fall completely flat if told to a British Bobby on a red London bus in Trafalgar Square.

Sorry to piss on your bonfire old chap!

R2

(maybe this will have more international appeal.)
If an Airline that flies between North America and Europe is called Transcontinental, would one that flew only in Europe or North America be considered Incontinent?


Not only a Gold Medal in number of Replies for a topic in Items Wanted, but now a record for Views. With wedding photos this topic is destined to be in the Topic Hall of Fame.

A woman rings up a shopping channel*, the following conversation takes place:
Woman: “Do you sell incontinence pads?”
Operator: “Yes.”
Woman: “How long do you take to deliver?”
Operator: “Where are you ringing from?”
Woman: “The waist down.”



* If no “shopping channel” in the U.K., then visualize an Associated Dairies with a telephone**.
** telephone – an instrument for transmitting and receiving sounds over long distances by electricity***.
*** electricity – a form of energy that occurs in nature and is observable in natural phenomena (as lightning) and that can be produced by friction, chemical reason, or mechanical effort.

I can supply definitions for “chemical” and “mechanical” if necessary.

but what's a pedant?

R2

I want everyone to know that I already knew what pedant means. In fact, that was the first word I spoke.

R2 ..... impossible to match anything with this bra especially in texture
Like the jokes Rick, we in Oz (who are not age challenged)know what Depends are, looks like the UK are lagging a bit.
Off to make sure the batteries are fully charged in the camera

You might just get away with a different texture as long as they're skin tone...

R2

quote:

looks like the UK are lagging a bit.

I don’t believe it’s the entire country. I think it is only one region.

All prepared for your Wedding Photo Album. One week to go!

Batteries fully charged in the adhesive bra, did you say???

quote:

As it's warm in Oz why not just find some matching knickers to go with the self-adhesive bra and voila - instant outfit, instant hit, very popular wedding photo album etc.

Yep, but THAT'S a problem! It just ain't right to upstage the bride on her day! She just wouldn't take too kindly to being photographed LESS than a guest on HER wedding day. Of course, while the invites to weddings may decrease, surely the invitations to bachelor parties would increase exponentially!

Before anyone gets pissed off/on, one more incompetent incontinent joke:

Q : “What do the elderly smell like?”
A : “Depends!”

No worries Jabber.....bride has purchased one too...so I won't steal her thunder

quote:

Seize The Day

I don't the "The Day" is what he had in mind.

Hey!

Saw these at Wal-Mart! Don't know if Australia has an equivalent to this store. Cost was $20-something.

Whatever happened to the wedding and the pics??

quote:

Originally posted by Jabbergah:
Hey!

Saw these at Wal-Mart! Don't know if Australia has an equivalent to this store. Cost was $20-something.

Aussie equivalent is *Big W*, Hubbie says it even *smells like Wal-Mart*.

Jabber - I have to ask....what WERE you doing in the section that sells adhesive bra's...honestly, I worry about you.

quote:

Jabber - I have to ask....what WERE you doing in the section that sells adhesive bra's...honestly, I worry about you.

Good question, Lexie!! LMAO!!!!

It might be a good place to pick up gals.

quote:

Jabber - I have to ask....what WERE you doing in the section that sells adhesive bra's...

LOL! I was just hanging out there to offer my new-found expertise on this matter (due to this forum topic!) to anyone who needed/wanted it -- NOBODY did and security asked me to leave!

Actually, I saw a gal at the Wal-Mart checkout purchasing one of them (or do I say "a pair"? ). If I had actually scouted them out in the lingerie section, I would know more specifics like sizes available, price range, etc.